“You get dizzy and nauseated because you have an anxiety disorder. You need to go to therapy.”

“You get migraines because you’re depressed. You need to go to therapy.”

“Your pelvic pain is caused by unresolved sexual trauma. You need to go to therapy.”

“You’re turning your stress into physical pain and sickness—it’s called conversion disorder. You need to go to therapy.”

“You absolutely, positively don’t have [insert literally any medical condition here]. You need to go therapy.”

You’re not alone

Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve been told that you’re too young to have all these problems. Or that your symptoms match those of a particular disease, “but that’s really rare so it can’t be the answer.” Or the classic: “It’s all in your head!” Maybe you’ve heard all of these and more—for months or for years.

These are all examples of how women are consistently overlooked, misunderstood, misdiagnosed, gaslighted, neglected, and abused within our medical system. (It happens to others too: trans people, queer people, BIPOC, and more—pretty much everyone who isn’t a cishet white man. And even some of them get treated this way too, especially if they’re fat.) Women and people who hold other intentionally marginalized identities are frequently told that their symptoms are caused by stress, depression, and anxiety (and often also their weight), which leads to their actual—and often serious—medical problems going undiagnosed and untreated. If it’s happened to you, know that you aren’t alone and you aren’t imagining it or “being too sensitive.” This is a systemic issue, and it is very much by design.

The truth you’ve been waiting for

If you’re still here, you’re enthusiastically agreeing with me and want to know more—or you’re skeptical and want to read all the way to the end so that you’ll be fully prepared to argue with me (it’s OK—I do it too). Either way, you’ll definitely want to read Doing Harm: The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed, and Sick by Maya Dusenbery.

Reading that book changed my life. It offered, to quote the blurb on the back cover, “studies and statistics, interviews with doctors and researchers, and moving personal stories” that validated everything I’d already known in my heart to be true but for which I had no “official” proof. Look for it at your local library (I first listened through the Libby app before buying a hard copy to keep), or purchase it from almost any bookstore.

I have no affiliation with the author or publisher, except that I will be forever grateful to them. Reading Doing Harm early in 2019 inspired me to open Dazzling Spoons Counseling later that year so that I could support the people who have been hurt in this way: People who live with complex medical conditions, who, yes, do feel sad and anxious sometimes—but who wouldn’t when you’ve been through what they’ve been through? I started Dazzling Spoons Counseling (after working as a therapist in community mental health for several years), because therapy really can help—but not as a miracle cure for your pain or sickness. It makes a difference having someone listen to you and believe you (and maybe even help you figure out where to learn more about your physical health symptoms and what doctors might be a good fit for your needs). It makes a difference having someone on your side. If you live in Oregon or Washington state and are interested in trying therapy with me, you can learn more about me—and how to get started working with me—in the links above.

Christy Reichert, MSW, LICSW/LCSW, is a feminist, disability-justice oriented therapist specializing in helping professional women who live with chronic illness and/or chronic pain in Oregon and Washington state. Learn how to become a client by clicking here.