Thera-pets: Reminders that you matter
[Image description: Thera-pets: 64 Emotional Support Animal Cards card deck, by Kate Allan, in a pink box with a multicolored illustrated cat on the cover. Next to the box is one of the cards, featuring an illustrated orange tabby cat with the text: “you are important. you matter.”]
We’re surrounded by messages telling us that we need to be hustling all the time to get stuff done—excelling at school, advancing our careers, earning more money, buying bigger and better stuff. You’ve heard all these and many more, I’m sure. This “advice” doesn’t work for many people (and even when it does, it probably shouldn’t). But when you’re living with a chronic illness—or three or five or nine chronic illnesses—it really doesn’t work. And when you fail to live up to these expectations, of course you feel bad about yourself, because everywhere you look you get the message that you are the problem.
What if there was another way?
What if you aren’t the problem—what if the expectations are unrealistic and the standard is impossible for most people to achieve? What if you don’t have to keep hustling? What if what you really need to do is rest? What if you are enough exactly as you are? I certainly believe that you are enough right now. I think it makes sense if you feel like you aren’t enough—and I believe that you aren’t doomed to feel that way forever.
There are many things that can help you start thinking about yourself differently, and I want to share one of them with you today: Thera-pets emotional support cards from Kate Allan (The Latest Kate). A client introduced me to Kate’s work a few years ago, and I’ve been thankful for that ever since. She has such great messages (example: “Just because you feel like trash doesn’t mean you are trash”), and each one is presented with adorable animal illustrations (that particular one comes with a pink unicorn).
[Image description: A thera-pet card with an illustrated pink unicorn. Text reads: “Just because you feel like trash doesn’t mean you are trash.”]
Research shows that it takes somewhere between five and seven positive messages or experiences to offset one negative. This isn’t necessarily a problem, because you want to be able to remember that the spoiled food made you sick or that the hot pan burned your hand. It’s not helpful when the message isn’t true, though, like if you believe that the world would be better off without you—that’s why it’s so important to have reminders that you DO matter, that you are enough, and that it’s good that you’re in the world.
Find what works for you
I’m not affiliated with The Latest Kate—I just like her work. If it’s not your style, that’s OK! But I hope you find something you can use as a frequent reminder that you don’t need to keep working harder. You are doing enough—maybe too much—and you are worthy of good things.
Christy Reichert, MSW, LICSW/LCSW, is a feminist, disability-justice oriented therapist specializing in helping professional women who live with chronic illness and/or chronic pain in Oregon and Washington state. Learn how to become a client by clicking here.